I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
