Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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