You work out of a Hotel?
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
