Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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