There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
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