So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
you had me at cake vodka
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize