i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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