the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
