thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
