how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
