hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Randomize
