For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
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