I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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