i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Randomize
