the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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