What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
