...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
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