I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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