So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
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