U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
