so explain again why im purple
no
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Randomize