yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
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