Whod you bang
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
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