No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Randomize
