Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
