I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
