Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
