four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Randomize
