Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
Randomize
