Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
