I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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