tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
