his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
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