I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
