i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
