I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Randomize