i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
