I just threw up on my dentist
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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