Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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