Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
a search helicopter?!
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I enjoy the company of your penis
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
