I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
