Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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