i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
