Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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