she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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