the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
