Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
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