If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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