We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Randomize
