How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
