she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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