I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Randomize
