your room smells of hookers.
And success
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
