New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
