i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
