Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize