I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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