Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
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