How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
