he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
