i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
