it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
