The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
