Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
This baby is an asshole
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
