She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
