do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
