I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
