mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
