rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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